Aldara's Blog - Ramblings about Life, the Universe and Everything Else

Aldara's Blog


monkey bars

I'm pretty sure it's a phenomenally bad idea to write a blog entry tonight, when I'm writing four exams tomorrow and haven't done much of anything (except watch tv series - my harddisk seems to have become my new internet) today (oh, and writing three more exams.... Except - I've been consulted on a couple of medical things by some friends of mine today and being able to help them, maybe take some of their anxiety away, has made me feel really nice.

When you start studying medicine, all of a sudden all of your friends start asking you questions when they have the sniffles or a hangover or some pain in their neck and you think to yourself - hey, I've just started to learn all the bones in the human body by heart and I'm learning how the little enzymes in the little cells make energy out of oxygen and sugar but hey - I've no bloody idea about anything medical!

Then you study for a while and learn how the body functions and maybe you get a little idea about the questions they ask you. Then you start your clinical studies and first you're terrified because there are actual people you have to question and examine and interact with. Actual people with actual problems! And you learn how to find out what the problem is and how to fix it - or at least how to make it better or keep it from getting worse or let them be as comfortable as possible while it's getting worse. But you don't acutally see this process because you only see them for maybe half an hour. At the beginning, you don't even see their anxiety because you're so focused on what to do next and what not to forget.

It's funny, the total difference between being the one saying what to do (knowing all the facts and being confident what you're doing is right) and being on the side of the patient, being told and wondering. And - I like this in-between. Knowing what all that medical stuff is about and being able to explain. I see that doctors mostly don't have time for involved explanations, when there are lives to be saved (I do hope they give abbreviated ones, though...) But I also see the anxiety of not understanding and of being afraid to ask too much. I actually think the worst of it is not knowing and building your own horror-imaginations from hearsay... So yes, I like being a medical student. I like not being at the mercy of doctors (for explanations, at least). And yes. Do feel free to ask me stuff. I'm happy to help. It's part of why I started studying, anyway.

edit: In retrospect I realize that the title of this post is totally random and non-related, except for a quote that I thought about, before writing it: something along the line of "my life is much more like a seesaw than a balance beam" in answer of which I thought "I've always like to play around on the balance beam and the monkey bars..." ;-)
19.7.10 23:21

personality traits

This is a very boring post about my personality. Why? Because I'm on a roll today. I've been rolling for a while. And I like it! Yay!

People ask me a lot how I'm doing all the stuff I'm doing. 4th year medschool, InterPOL-tutor, Lekker Leben (and not just helping out during the projects but administrating the website, organising stuff, making up new projects...), teddy hospital (just 6 days a year, but still) as well as administrating a holiday apartment, doing housework and groceries, and my various time-consuming hobbies (singing in a choir, sewing pretty dresses, making jewelery from buttons, keeping fit (pilates and jogging, this semester), photography, cooking and eating - yup, hobbies of mine, blogging and reading blogs, reading books and fanfiction, TV... not to mention meeting friends).

So yeah. I know it seems like a lot. The truth is, I need to keep busy. If I don't, I'm a complete lazybird and don't get anything done. I have no problem spending the whole day in front of a computer reading and doing practically nothing, whiling away time on facebook and twitter, watching uncounted episodes of my favorite series, reading books by the kilo... That comes really easy to me. But: if I'm already doing something useful, I'm motivated enough to do something else vaguely useful afterwards. I learnt that in high school, keeping busy with extracurricular activities, running youth clubs, playing an instrument, giving extra lessons...

A really useful day to me is full of set dates, with spaces in between them. While I'm waiting for the next thing/seminar/date to begin, I can use the time to make lists, brainstorm things, learn segments of the current uni stuff, sketch out inspirations... stuff I never get done when I'm sitting in front of the vast entertainment of the internets.

Of course it's helpful that all the things I do are made up of ends I want to achieve and pure enjoyment - which can obviously overlap... ;-)

So yeah. That's how I roll. I'm rolling. And I like it. :-)
5.5.10 21:47

on a rainy spring night

I'm feeling rather meditative tonight. It's probably an after-effect of my first Pilates class, which was really rather good, not to sweaty, not too hard but still slightly challenging - and it was held in the most beautiful university gymnastics room I've ever seen: on the top of the building, with windows making up the ceiling. It was raining and you could watch the clouds go by, it was wonderful. When I was leaving the building, I found the perfect music for my mood on my mp3-player: the first handful of songs from the first season Grey's Anatomy soundtrack. I've no idea what genre to call them, they sound similar to some songs I like on the "Sommersturm"-soundtrack... a little garage-band-like, not too high-tech, good voices, melodic but with a good rhythm. In the underground I felt kind of calmly happy, meditative and content. As I left and got up the stairs into the rain, it had that smell that's very rare here in the big city. Warm and wet and sweet, like rain and night and flowers. Not the wet hot pavement smell of summer rain but the more subtle wet spring flowers with a taste of early summer rain. It reminded me a lot of Nashville, where the spring months used to be warm and wet, not cold enough to mind being outside, you could sit under some umbrella and watch the rain, dream and enjoy the smell. Nice and meditative.
26.4.10 21:31

So, Star Trek XI, hm?

So I went to see the Star Trek XI preview tonight. It was awesome. It was fun. It was engaging. It suspended disbelief. I wanted to be part of it. I didn't want it to end. I guess that's what a good movie should strive to accomplish.


There were a couple of points that fell on the negative side. One kind of bothered me right when it came up, the final maneuver to escape the black hole. I didn't think it made sense to eject the warp core to gain momentum because, hey, that's what gives them warp speed, isn't it? How'd they escape without warp speed? And how come time didn't slow down drastically, that close to the black hole? But well, a minor scientific point. It's SF, it can be overlooked.

The other thing was pointed out to me aferwards, and was that there actually is no moral point in the story, when most (all?) ST movies and series had strong ethical constructs. I didn't see anything besides the American when-in-doubt-sacrifice-yourself-for-your-county routine, and actually, violence and hot-headedness were rewarded by giving Kirk, who beat up 5 Starfleet cadets over a girl in the beginning, first the First Officer post and then Captaincy.

Other than that, the movie was awesome. Rich in action, awesome CGs, awesome effects, cute actors, engaging story, lots of in-jokes, some not so in-jokes... I was blown away by the make-up design. The Vulcan ears looked extremely realistic, and some of the other aliens, like the green Orion girl and the eyes of the midwife were fantastic. I loved the new Warp effect, and the way the starships moved, and how it was actually quiet in the vacuum of space. The Vulcan school was really cool and the way those Vulcan kids teased each other with big bad foreign words was hilarious. Young Chekov running through the corridors shouting "I can get them" was hilarious. Scotty's reaction to his own (future) formula of transporting people in warp transit was plain fun.

Ah yes. I'm going to watch the dubbed version with some other friends tomorrow. My heart's going to bleed, but it will be fun anyway.

Oh, and I was interviewed by some Paramount people afterwards. They really liked my stylish pointed ears and communicator. *lol* We'll see if any footage will ever make it into the internet public.

PS: My good friend Roman didn't like the movie. Much. But he isn't entiteled to an opinion, because he rates movies based on if the sountrack was written by Hans Zimmer. And he thought Nemesis was one of the best movies of all time.
7.5.09 01:35

A Head full of Sky

I've got my head fully of sky tonight. Yes, that's a deliberate misquoting. If anybody gets it, brownie points for your taste in literature.

I love clear spring evenings. I love clear evenings, period, but tonight was really beautiful. I went grocery shopping before it got dark, and on my way back, I walked by an office building with mirrored glass fronts. It was incredibly beautiful how the still-bare tree branches were shilouetted by the shining sky. Yes, the sky shone. It usually doesn't, not during the day. Even when it's cloudless, the cerulean almost absorbs the sunlight, and doesn't reflect it. But in the short minutes of dusk, when the sun is just down but the darkness hasn't come yet, it reflects the sunlight and shines. The sky just over the horizon is yellowy-white and the higher up it gets, the more blue it turns. The clouds that hang low over the sun that has already set, glow orange with her light. On the other side of the horizon, the sky already turns lapislazuli and the first stars twinkle, if you don't happen to live in the city. Look at it, and you will see: the sky really does glow, even though the sun is down. And the light is only obstructed by the row of houses, and the trees in the little park. They're shilouetted darkly, and reflect in the glass.

30.3.09 20:06

a change of pace

I've been thinking a little, today. I've been spending a whole lot of time on the Internet the last couple of days, mostly reading English stuff, for my essay (on oral antidiabetic drigs of plant origin, if anybody's interested) and also more pleasure related stuff, plus listening to English podcasts while I was on my way through the city. It makes me think in English, and I was thinking about blogging stuff - mostly about this totally awesome podcast, which was the first I've ever listened to, and which made me smile the whole way from home to uni - and it's really strange to have to translate what I'm thinking back into German to blog it, so I decided that it was ok to have English blog entries in between the German ones. Since sometimes I'm thinking English and sometimes I'm thinking German. And sometimes I'm thinking a garbled mishmash, but I'll try to spare you (my imaginary readers) from that.

Anyway, here's what I've been thinking about blogging today.

It all began a couple of months ago, when I was watching the Star Trek TNG episode where first Captain Picard and then Dr. Crusher shout "Shut up, Wesley!" at Wesley Crusher. I was giggling at that (because, haven't we all thought that at one point or the other? Though, actually not at that point, because what he was saying really had merit, but anyway...) so, of course I googled it and found this funny review of the episode by Wil Wheaton, who is the actor playing Wesley, and it was so much fun to read, I read a bunch of others, giggled at them, googled Wil Wheaton and found his blog.

Now, I personally think that while Wesley Crusher was totally obnoxious during first season, he actually came to be really cute during season two (and he lost those really ugly jumpers, too, so that's a plus) and... anyway. I was talking about Wil Wheaton. Well, he's got a really active blog, and I read some of it, and it sounded interesting (also, I'm a really nosy person and love reading blogs about people's day-to-day life, yeah, I know, strange) so I read some more, and somehow, in the months since that, started doing lots of funny things I never did before. Like, microblog on twitter with stunning regularity. Read more blogs. Especially Wil's (and here, for the nonexistent people reading this and wanting to see what the fuss is all about: a link). And the newest? Listening to podcasts. Wil's, for the moment.

I've never been into podcasts or audio books or anything like that. Mostly, because I bought an audio book of some Miss Marple mysteries for my great-grandma some years ago, started listening to it with her, and was so appalled by the slow pace of the reading, I never touched another audio book again. (I bought the original BBC radio series of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and liked listening to it, but I never got past Chapter 5 or so. It was fun, but much too long to listen to the whole thing.) So, I'm not sure why, but I downloaded some of Wil Wheaton's podcasts today (probably thinking: I like reading his blog, I might like him talking the way he writes it) and just listening to the first two on my way to uni made me smile and giggle continually during the train ride. Wich is great, because I'll be on a plane to Italy really early tomorrow, and I'll probably be too tired to read, so I have a couple of hours of funny commentary to listen to.

So... I guess that's all I wanted to talk about today. Yes, I know I'm totally more talkative writing in English than in German. It's the mental language barrier (thinking I can write more freely, because not everybody will understand it anyway. Which is totally a lie, because obviously there's a lot more people speaking English than German. But it's psychological. Also, during the time I spent in the US, I spent way more time talking about practically nothing then I ever talked about anything substantial in Germany. So it's a habit).

19.3.09 23:34

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