I'm pretty sure it's a phenomenally bad idea to write a blog entry tonight, when I'm writing four exams tomorrow and haven't done much of anything (except watch tv series - my harddisk seems to have become my new internet) today (oh, and writing three more exams.... Except - I've been consulted on a couple of medical things by some friends of mine today and being able to help them, maybe take some of their anxiety away, has made me feel really nice.
When you start studying medicine, all of a sudden all of your friends start asking you questions when they have the sniffles or a hangover or some pain in their neck and you think to yourself - hey, I've just started to learn all the bones in the human body by heart and I'm learning how the little enzymes in the little cells make energy out of oxygen and sugar but hey - I've no bloody idea about anything medical!
Then you study for a while and learn how the body functions and maybe you get a little idea about the questions they ask you. Then you start your clinical studies and first you're terrified because there are actual people you have to question and examine and interact with. Actual people with actual problems! And you learn how to find out what the problem is and how to fix it - or at least how to make it better or keep it from getting worse or let them be as comfortable as possible while it's getting worse. But you don't acutally see this process because you only see them for maybe half an hour. At the beginning, you don't even see their anxiety because you're so focused on what to do next and what not to forget.
It's funny, the total difference between being the one saying what to do (knowing all the facts and being confident what you're doing is right) and being on the side of the patient, being told and wondering. And - I like this in-between. Knowing what all that medical stuff is about and being able to explain. I see that doctors mostly don't have time for involved explanations, when there are lives to be saved (I do hope they give abbreviated ones, though...) But I also see the anxiety of not understanding and of being afraid to ask too much. I actually think the worst of it is not knowing and building your own horror-imaginations from hearsay... So yes, I like being a medical student. I like not being at the mercy of doctors (for explanations, at least). And yes. Do feel free to ask me stuff. I'm happy to help. It's part of why I started studying, anyway.
edit: In retrospect I realize that the title of this post is totally random and non-related, except for a quote that I thought about, before writing it: something along the line of "my life is much more like a seesaw than a balance beam" in answer of which I thought "I've always like to play around on the balance beam and the monkey bars..." ;-)